{"title":"NO ROOM FOR PRIVATE EQUITY","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cem\u003ePhysician-owned coffee and tea. No board. No investors. No fine print.\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThey'll tell you it's the patients. It's never the patients.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eIt's the inbox that never empties. The click, then the click, then the click. The note that outlasted the visit. The \"upgrade\" nobody asked for. The software that came with no promise it would even work, and somehow still owns the feedback you gave it.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eMost of us never signed up for this. A lot of us never got to sign at all.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eBut this is ours. Coffee and tea from a working physician. No board, no investors, nobody three floors up optimizing your day for someone else's margin.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWe don't have room for private equity.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp style=\"border:3px solid currentColor;padding:14px 18px;margin:22px 0 0;\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWant all five in one click?\u003c\/strong\u003e \u003ca href=\"\/products\/no-room-for-private-equity-the-set\"\u003eNO ROOM FOR PRIVATE EQUITY, THE SET\u003c\/a\u003e is three coffees and two teas in one box, $79.99, ships free. Or pick them off one at a time below.\u003c\/p\u003e","products":[{"product_id":"medically-necessary","title":"MEDICALLY NECESSARY","description":"\u003cdiv style=\"padding:14px 16px;border-left:4px solid #17191A;background:#F3F5F0;margin:0 0 16px;\"\u003e\n\u003cp style=\"margin:0 0 6px;font-size:11px;letter-spacing:.14em;text-transform:uppercase;\"\u003eThe short version\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp style=\"margin:0;\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eUnflavored single origin Brazil, medium roast.\u003c\/strong\u003e Tastes like chocolate and mandarin orange, all from the bean, nothing added. Smooth and easygoing. 12 oz, ground or whole bean, or 1 LB.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eA smooth, easygoing Brazilian coffee with chocolate and a little mandarin orange, and nothing sharp about it. Also two words you have said out loud a thousand times to convince a human, or lately an algorithm, that yes, this is actually needed. No prior auth. No appeal. No denial to justify.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eRoast\u003c\/strong\u003e: Medium\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eTasting Notes\u003c\/strong\u003e: Medium acidity, smooth body, mandarin orange, chocolate\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eGrade\u003c\/strong\u003e: SSFC 17\/18\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eRegion\u003c\/strong\u003e: Sul de Minas, Brazil\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eAltitude\u003c\/strong\u003e: 950 to 1,100 M\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eProcess\u003c\/strong\u003e: Natural\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eVariety\u003c\/strong\u003e: Mundo Novo, Catuai, Icatu, and Bourbon\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eNote\u003c\/strong\u003e: chocolate and mandarin orange here are tasting notes, not ingredients. This is unflavored single origin coffee. The notes come from the bean and the roast, nothing added.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"why-this-bag\" style=\"margin-top:22px;padding:14px 16px;border-left:4px solid #17191A;background:#F3F5F0;\"\u003e\n\u003c!-- why-this-bag --\u003e\u003cp style=\"margin:0 0 6px;font-size:11px;letter-spacing:.14em;text-transform:uppercase;\"\u003eWhy this bag exists\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp style=\"margin:0;\"\u003eTwo words every physician has said out loud to get care approved. Now on a bag. \u003ca href=\"\/blogs\/news\/tagged\/bag-stories\"\u003eMore bag stories\u003c\/a\u003e · Named by a family physician who still owns her practice. \u003ca href=\"\/pages\/about\"\u003eAbout\u003c\/a\u003e · \u003ca href=\"\/pages\/brew-guide\"\u003eHow to brew it\u003c\/a\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e","brand":"Chief Complaint Coffee \u0026 Tea","offers":[{"title":"Standard \/ 12oz","offer_id":62218661855602,"sku":"C-BRAZIL SANTOS-ST-12OZ-BL","price":22.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Whole Bean \/ 12oz","offer_id":62218662019442,"sku":"C-BRAZIL SANTOS-WH-12OZ-BL","price":22.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Whole Bean \/ 1 LB","offer_id":62327597793650,"sku":"C-BRAZIL SANTOS-WH-1LB-BL","price":31.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0994\/4973\/3490\/files\/Medicallygroundstd12ozbag_0b150cc9-ac33-4bfb-a7f6-07bf4824503f.jpg?v=1789359807"},{"product_id":"no-fine-print","title":"NO FINE PRINT","description":"\u003cdiv style=\"padding:14px 16px;border-left:4px solid #17191A;background:#F3F5F0;margin:0 0 16px;\"\u003e\n\u003cp style=\"margin:0 0 6px;font-size:11px;letter-spacing:.14em;text-transform:uppercase;\"\u003eThe short version\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp style=\"margin:0;\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eEnglish breakfast black tea\u003c\/strong\u003e, strong enough for milk and sugar. Has caffeine. 3 oz loose leaf.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eA rustic, sweet breakfast tea, strong enough to stand up to milk and sugar. Malty, fruity, dependable, and exactly what it says it is. No asterisk, no exclusions, no clause on page four.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eBrewing:\u003c\/strong\u003e 2.5 g per 12 oz cup, 195°F, 5 to 7 minutes.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eIngredients: organic Assam TGFOP, organic Ceylon OP, organic second flush Darjeeling.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e3 oz loose leaf. Ships free over $50.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"why-this-bag\" style=\"margin-top:22px;padding:14px 16px;border-left:4px solid #17191A;background:#F3F5F0;\"\u003e\n\u003c!-- why-this-bag --\u003e\u003cp style=\"margin:0 0 6px;font-size:11px;letter-spacing:.14em;text-transform:uppercase;\"\u003eWhy this tin exists\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp style=\"margin:0;\"\u003eNamed for the way care should be priced: one number, and it is the number. \u003ca href=\"\/blogs\/news\/tagged\/bag-stories\"\u003eMore bag stories\u003c\/a\u003e · Named by a family physician who still owns her practice. \u003ca href=\"\/pages\/about\"\u003eAbout\u003c\/a\u003e · \u003ca href=\"\/pages\/brew-guide\"\u003eHow to brew it\u003c\/a\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e","brand":"Chief Complaint Coffee \u0026 Tea","offers":[{"title":"Loose leaf \/ 3oz","offer_id":62218677551474,"sku":"C-TENG-LO-3OZ-KR","price":23.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0994\/4973\/3490\/files\/No_Fine_Print.jpg?v=1789066470"},{"product_id":"off-formulary","title":"OFF FORMULARY","description":"\u003cdiv style=\"padding:14px 16px;border-left:4px solid #17191A;background:#F3F5F0;margin:0 0 16px;\"\u003e\n\u003cp style=\"margin:0 0 6px;font-size:11px;letter-spacing:.14em;text-transform:uppercase;\"\u003eThe short version\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp style=\"margin:0;\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eMasala chai:\u003c\/strong\u003e black tea and whole spices, so it has caffeine. Give it a long steep and milk. 3 oz loose leaf.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe bold, spicy character of Indian masala chai, aromatic and full bodied. Served traditionally with milk and sugar or taken straight, and better than whatever they wanted you to have instead.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eBrewing:\u003c\/strong\u003e 3 g per 12 oz cup, 208°F, 5 to 10 minutes. It takes a long steep and it takes milk, so give it both.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eIngredients: organic assam black tea, organic cloves, organic ginger, organic cardamom, organic black pepper, organic star anise, organic cinnamon flavor, organic cardamom flavor.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e3 oz loose leaf. Ships free over $50.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"why-this-bag\" style=\"margin-top:22px;padding:14px 16px;border-left:4px solid #17191A;background:#F3F5F0;\"\u003e\n\u003c!-- why-this-bag --\u003e\u003cp style=\"margin:0 0 6px;font-size:11px;letter-spacing:.14em;text-transform:uppercase;\"\u003eWhy this tin exists\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp style=\"margin:0;\"\u003eNamed for the thing that works but is not on the list. \u003ca href=\"\/blogs\/news\/tagged\/bag-stories\"\u003eMore bag stories\u003c\/a\u003e · Named by a family physician who still owns her practice. \u003ca href=\"\/pages\/about\"\u003eAbout\u003c\/a\u003e · \u003ca href=\"\/pages\/brew-guide\"\u003eHow to brew it\u003c\/a\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e","brand":"chiefcomplaintcoffee","offers":[{"title":"Loose leaf \/ 3oz","offer_id":62218677617010,"sku":"C-TCHAI-LO-3OZ-KR","price":23.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0994\/4973\/3490\/files\/OffFormulargBag.jpg?v=1789060262"},{"product_id":"no-prior-auth","title":"NO PRIOR AUTH","description":"\u003cdiv style=\"padding:14px 16px;border-left:4px solid #17191A;background:#F3F5F0;margin:0 0 16px;\"\u003e\n\u003cp style=\"margin:0 0 6px;font-size:11px;letter-spacing:.14em;text-transform:uppercase;\"\u003eThe short version\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp style=\"margin:0;\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eUnflavored single origin Kenya, medium-light roast.\u003c\/strong\u003e Bright citrus and floral, all from the bean, nothing added. The sharp, wide-awake one. 12 oz or 1 LB, ground or whole bean.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eBright, sharp, and unbought. A washed Kenya coffee with citrus that cuts through the fog of a shift that started before sunrise, and a finish that does not ask permission.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eRoast\u003c\/strong\u003e: Medium-light\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eTasting Notes\u003c\/strong\u003e: Bright acidity, orange, lemon, floral, effervescent\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eCertification\u003c\/strong\u003e: Conventional\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eRegion\u003c\/strong\u003e: Othaya, Nyeri County, Kenya\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eAltitude\u003c\/strong\u003e: 1,700 to 1,890 M\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eProcess\u003c\/strong\u003e: Fully washed and dried on raised beds\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eVariety\u003c\/strong\u003e: SL28, SL34, Ruiru 11, and Batian\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eNote\u003c\/strong\u003e: orange and lemon here are tasting notes, not ingredients. This is unflavored single origin coffee. The notes come from the bean and the roast, nothing added.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"why-this-bag\" style=\"margin-top:22px;padding:14px 16px;border-left:4px solid #17191A;background:#F3F5F0;\"\u003e\n\u003c!-- why-this-bag --\u003e\u003cp style=\"margin:0 0 6px;font-size:11px;letter-spacing:.14em;text-transform:uppercase;\"\u003eWhy this bag exists\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp style=\"margin:0;\"\u003eBright, sharp, and named for the form that stands between a physician's decision and the patient getting it. \u003ca href=\"\/blogs\/news\/tagged\/bag-stories\"\u003eMore bag stories\u003c\/a\u003e · Named by a family physician who still owns her practice. \u003ca href=\"\/pages\/about\"\u003eAbout\u003c\/a\u003e · \u003ca href=\"\/pages\/brew-guide\"\u003eHow to brew it\u003c\/a\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e","brand":"Chief Complaint Coffee \u0026 Tea","offers":[{"title":"Standard \/ 12oz","offer_id":62218679222642,"sku":"C-KENYA-ST-12OZ-BL","price":22.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Standard \/ 1 LB","offer_id":62321535517042,"sku":"C-KENYA-ST-1LB-BL","price":31.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Whole Bean \/ 12oz","offer_id":62218679353714,"sku":"C-KENYA-WH-12OZ-BL","price":22.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Coarse \/ 12oz","offer_id":62321535484274,"sku":"C-KENYA-CO-12OZ-BL","price":22.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0994\/4973\/3490\/files\/NOPRIORAUTH12OzWHOLENewtcr_coffee_blank_final_latest.jpg?v=1788771070"},{"product_id":"peer-to-peer","title":"PEER TO PEER","description":"\u003cdiv style=\"padding:14px 16px;border-left:4px solid #17191A;background:#F3F5F0;margin:0 0 16px;\"\u003e\n\u003cp style=\"margin:0 0 6px;font-size:11px;letter-spacing:.14em;text-transform:uppercase;\"\u003eThe short version\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp style=\"margin:0;\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eUnflavored high-caffeine blend: single origin Tanzania plus Indonesia robusta.\u003c\/strong\u003e Built for the extra boost. Ground or whole bean.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eTwo sides, one call, and the outcome was decided before you dialed. Single origin Tanzania blended with Indonesia robusta, for a cup with enough behind it to get through the rest of it.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eBlend\u003c\/strong\u003e: Single origin Tanzania, Indonesia robusta\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eRoast\u003c\/strong\u003e: Tanzania medium light, robusta medium\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eCaffeine\u003c\/strong\u003e: High, from the robusta\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eBest for\u003c\/strong\u003e: Drip or espresso\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eNote\u003c\/strong\u003e: This is unflavored coffee. The notes come from the bean and the roast, nothing added.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"why-this-bag\" style=\"margin-top:22px;padding:14px 16px;border-left:4px solid #17191A;background:#F3F5F0;\"\u003e\n\u003c!-- why-this-bag --\u003e\u003cp style=\"margin:0 0 6px;font-size:11px;letter-spacing:.14em;text-transform:uppercase;\"\u003eWhy this bag exists\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp style=\"margin:0;\"\u003eHigh caffeine. Named for the call where you argue with someone who has not seen the patient. \u003ca href=\"\/blogs\/news\/tagged\/bag-stories\"\u003eMore bag stories\u003c\/a\u003e · Named by a family physician who still owns her practice. \u003ca href=\"\/pages\/about\"\u003eAbout\u003c\/a\u003e · \u003ca href=\"\/pages\/brew-guide\"\u003eHow to brew it\u003c\/a\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e","brand":"Chief Complaint Coffee \u0026 Tea","offers":[{"title":"Standard \/ 12oz","offer_id":62326716563826,"sku":"C-MAX CAF BLEND-ST-12OZ-BL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Whole Bean \/ 12oz","offer_id":62326771155314,"sku":"C-MAX CAF BLEND-WH-12OZ-BL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0994\/4973\/3490\/files\/PeerGround12ozbag.jpg?v=1789290248"},{"product_id":"no-room-for-private-equity-the-set","title":"NO ROOM FOR PRIVATE EQUITY, THE SET","description":"\u003cp\u003eFive things that don't ask you to justify anything. NO PRIOR AUTH, the coffee that cuts through a shift that started before sunrise. MEDICALLY NECESSARY, two words you've said out loud a thousand times, finally on your side. NO FINE PRINT and OFF FORMULARY, two teas with nothing to read between the lines. PEER TO PEER, for the call that was decided before you dialed.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eOne box, one statement. Physician-owned. No board. No investors.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWe don't have room for private equity.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Chief Complaint Coffee \u0026 Tea","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":62326793273714,"sku":null,"price":79.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0994\/4973\/3490\/files\/NOROOMFORPRIVATEEQUITYSETMOCKUP.png?v=1789443457"}],"url":"https:\/\/chiefcomplaintcoffee.com\/collections\/no-room-for-private-equity.oembed","provider":"Chief Complaint Coffee \u0026 Tea","version":"1.0","type":"link"}